How To Tie Your Shoes
by Victor Lams

(Spoken) Are you holding your laces, kids? Then let's begin!

Cross the left end over the right end
The left end is now, on the right side
Then you wrap the right end around the left
See -- you've formed a gap (between the laces)

Feed the right end through this gap and you'll
Emerge at the front, right there on the right side
Now you can just pull both ends real tight
That's called a half-hitch knot, but we're not nearly finished --

Tying your shoes is easy,
Oh yes, it's very easy,
Most other kids can do it,
Kids who are younger than you.

You should be able to do it
Unless you're slow or something
That other kid just did it
What is your problem?

Now make the right end into a loop and
Take the left end and pass it around the right
Make sure you went behind the right end
If not, better start again.

(Spoken) You kids still with me? Those that fall behind get left behind!

Continue the left end around the right loop
Ending up in front before you start to
Feed the left lace into the hole,
The hole that you've just made (in the step before)

With the left end now through the hole
Grab on hold to both of the loops you've made
And start to pull, you'll know before very long
If you've gotten it all right (if not rewind this song)

Tying your shoes is easy,
Good Lord it's so very easy,
Like falling down... it's
Lit-er-a-ly that easy

Are you messing with me?
That's the only possibility
Unless you're very stupid, because
I explained it very clearly.

Congratulations kids, now you all know how to
Tie your own shoe laces, and if not
There's not much else I can do for you but to
Suggest that you ask your
...
Mom.