The Cacophonous World of Professor Whimsey

New Album Out Today!?

2008-07-09T17:46:00.001-07:00

Well, I thought it would take a few more weeks, but apparently three days is all it takes for Amazon MP3 and Lala to post your new album on their websites for listening (LaLa gives you the first listen for free) and purchase. iTunes, Rhapsody, and eMusic, it seems take a bit longer.

So, yeah: phreakbox v1.4: The Instrumentals is out today!!!!

Expect a full page for the album soon, including a link to purchase a physical CD copy of the product (once I approve it). But in the meantime if you want to get your (mostly) mellow electronic jazz downtempo loungecore chiptune worldbeat groove on, head over to the album on Amazon MP3 or Lala and give it a listen (and if you like it, download a track or two or the whole album). It's very chill.

Also, while at Amazon MP3 or Lala (and soon iTunes and Rhapsody) you may notice another single I've recently released, "The Flying House of Loreto".

This is a track I did a little while back which has become very popular on the net (to date this year, it's been downloaded over 16,000 times from my website). If you like, give it a listen and a download too. It may just give you the inspiration you need to do whatever it is you need to do today (heck, I mean, if a house can fly anything is pretty much possible). Jackie did the cover design for the single, incorporating one of her recent fiber art pieces... I've gotten a lot of good feedback on that.

And, as always, if you haven't gotten your daily dose of Robot Love recently, you can download my first CD on iTunes, Rhapsody, Amazon MP3 and a number of other places around the net.

Requiem for an SMS

2008-06-29T13:12:00.001-07:00

Here's another from our poking-around-on-my-harddrive file, a requiem for the Sega Master System.

NOTE: This song is now available on the new "Phreakbox v1.4: The Instrumentals" album (as "Game Over"), available for download from Amazon MP3, Lala.com, and available soon from iTunes and Rhapsody and on Audio CD.

2005 Funk Jam

2008-06-28T07:49:00.001-07:00

Going through the hard-drive looking for some stuff to clean up for a possible future release, and found this experiment (probably messing around with the Jamstix demo), from July, 2005.

http://www.victorlams.com/audio/Victor_Lams_-_2005_Funk_Jam.mp3

Car Wreck (Hang Up And Drive)

2008-05-26T16:03:00.000-07:00

Song #75 on our 100-song odyssey is a collaboration with the eminent 1-2-Many, who is a fixture on the KVRaudio.com website, particularly in their monthly song contests. Collaboration may be pushing it a bit because all I really did on this one was write some words and sing them -- he did all the music writing and production, so it was quite a nice break for me. I think it came out really well.

http://www.victorlams.com/kvr-vst/0805_drx2many_car_wreck.mp3

Barry White vs. The Chipmunks

2008-04-24T16:34:00.000-07:00

Since I guess we're on the retro tip, here's another old song; this song is possibly from late 1998 or early 1999? I can't remember. It was done "live" (though multitracked) to my Roland multitrack recorder which could do formant shifting, which explains the vocals. I never really intended this to be Barry White or the Chipmunks, I just needed a name for the project after I'd recorded it.

http://www.victorlams.com/music/victor_lams_-_bwvtc.mp3

Oh, and if someone could please explain to me why "The Flying House of Loreto" has been downloaded 4,000 times already this month (and how I can possibly cash in on this), please let me know. It's been gaining in popularity over the last few months and I have no idea why.

Fake Cop!

2008-04-06T17:44:00.000-07:00

Here's an oldie, from 2001 (right after the "Robot Love" era). It's about all those people who pretend to be cops... that's right, they are "Fake Cops!" A lot of time has gone by between this song and now, so you'd really think my music would sound better today than it did then. You would think.

http://www.victorlams.com/music/Victor_Lams_-_Fake_Cop.mp3

In The Eye

2008-03-17T16:06:00.000-07:00

...in which our singer recounts his final moments inside the eye of a tornado (it's a Midwestern United States thing, you wouldn't understand). Lyric here.

http://www.victorlams.com/audio/VLams_-_In_The_Eye.mp3

In The Eye (Instrumental Version)

2008-03-16T17:24:00.000-07:00

I'll be posting the version of this new tune with vocals in a day or two. In the meantime, enjoy it in all its pristine, unbesmirched, Moog-tastic goodness.

http://www.victorlams.com/audio/VLams_-_In_The_Eye_Instrumental.mp3

M.A.R.V.I.N.

2008-03-02T06:30:00.000-08:00

Song #70 on our 100-song journey is from early, 2003, when I found myself laid-off. It's named in honor of Michigan's Automated Response Voice Interactive Network, aka. M.A.R.V.I.N., who cheerfully greeted me every other Friday to confirm I'd been looking for work. As for the piece itself, it's kind of a jazzy-funky instrumental tune done with an old music program that came bundled free with Computer Music magazine. Listening to this one again after so many years, for all of its low-fi grunginess, it's really one of my favorites. It reminds me of a time when (like it or not) I had a lot of time and attention to give a piece.

NOTE: This song is now available on the new "Phreakbox v1.4: The Instrumentals" album, available for download from Amazon MP3, Lala.com, and available soon from iTunes and Rhapsody and on Audio CD.

The Canadian Human Rights Commission

2008-02-18T18:13:00.000-08:00

UPDATE (02/19): I've tweaked the mix a little to make the vocals stand out a little more (maybe too much -- yes, I've heard of EQ, but there's no time to fix that now).

If you want to know what this song is about, just google "Canadian Human Rights Commission". They're both wacky and evil. Free Mark Steyn!

By request, here is the (approximate) lyric (I always change the words a bit when I sing them to make them flow better and the "Der Kommissar" parts were improvised on the spot):

------------
The Commission:

We're the Canadian Human Rights Commission
Welcome to our coalition
Of Ministers and Politicians
Here to make it right.

We're the Canadian Human Rights Commission
Your enemies submitted their petition
In opposition to your position
And we're sensitive to their plight.

We're the Canadian Human Rights Commission
Please offer your deposition
Then we'll give you our rendition
And a chance for you to be contrite

We're the Canadian Human Rights Commission
You've been found guilty by our intuition
We'd like to offer you extradition
Go quietly and without a fight

Der Kommissar:

We apologize for putting you in this position.
But you must understand, we have no choice, we are the Canadian Human Rights Commission.

The Commission:

We're the Canadian Human Rights Commission
Welcome to our coalition
Of Ministers and Politicians
Here to make it right

We're the Canadian Human Rights Commission
Welcome to our inquisition
Quelling all our opposition
But never ever being impolite.

Der Kommissar:

We're afraid of jihadists and the homosexuals,
But we're not afraid of you and your Papal bulls.
You can believe what you want to, you can believe what you will,
But if you speak your mind, we'll move right in for the kill.
------------

(And I think that's just about every rhyme there is for "commission" though I'm sure you can probably think of others).

http://www.victorlams.com/audio/VLams_-_Canadian_Human_Rights_Commission.mp3

Huh?

2008-02-08T16:32:00.000-08:00

One of the rare pleasures of working on music so randomly over the years is that once in a while, while searching for something else, you happen across a file in your working directory entitled "Huh.wav" and when you pull it up to give it a listen, you have absolutely no recollection of ever working on it. It's even better when that tune is kind of neat.

As near as I can tell, listening to this, is that I was trying out some new gate effect, on whatever Saturday afternoon I did this. Also, I'm not really sure how the "Good Eats" theme made it in there at the end.

http://www.victorlams.com/audio/VLams_-_Huh.mp3

I Shot The Freak

2008-01-19T09:14:00.000-08:00

Yeah, I shot the freak.

http://www.victorlams.com/audio/VLams_-_I_Shot_The_Freak.mp3

Kennedy Vs. The Final Boss

2008-01-05T16:26:00.000-08:00

http://www.victorlams.com/audio/VLams_-_Kennedy_vs_The_Final_Boss.mp3

Always Ever Only Just

2007-12-30T18:55:00.001-08:00

Always Ever Only Just
December 28, 2007

Always Ever Only Just the things we say
Seem to make it better each and every day
Wouldn't it be great if things worked out that way
Always Ever Only Just the things we say

Always Ever Only Just we must obey
Trying to find some reason to get up today
Close my eyes and try to make it all go away
Always Ever Only Just is why we pray

Always Ever Only Just fights with dismay
You find your life in tatters and in disarray
When you keep depression and dispair at bay
Always Ever Only Just winds up okay

Always Ever Only Just leads us astray
Sing our hearts out loud our feelings on display
Characters inside we do our best to portray
'Always Ever Only Just' we call the play.

Always Ever Only Just a Chevrolet
Taken to the clinic for a chest x-ray.
The doctor says he can't entirely rule out foul play
Always Ever Only Just the same cliche

Can't pull away,
Can't throw away,
Can't Wipe away,
Can't laugh away.
Can't turn away,
Can't sneak away,
Can't run away,
Because there's hell to pay.

Always Ever Only Just the things we say
Always Ever Only Just we must obey
Always Ever Only Just leads us astray
Always Ever Only Just winds up okay

http://www.victorlams.com/audio/Victor_Lams_-_Always_Ever_Only_Just.mp3

The Weary Blues (Langston Hughes)

2007-10-14T16:28:00.000-07:00

Here's an experiment in found audio (the recitation is from Archive.org, and the ambient cafe sounds are from Freesound.org). Computer Music magazine's resident monthly musical gestalt writer, Rachmiel, had this to say about this piece:

"it's hard to know what to do with this. the (profoundly un-negro) accent suggests satire/irony ... as does the cocktail accompaniment. but the text is for real and langston hughes is not normally a prime target for smartassery ... truly odd. :-)"

I think that best sums it up. Maybe it's a statement on globalization, maybe it's not.

Victor_Lams_-_Langston_Hughes_The_Weary_Blues.mp3

Oh, No! Giardiasis!

2007-10-12T18:01:00.000-07:00

A few years back, the Center for Disease Control approached my free-jazz quintet, "No Boundaries", about doing a little project for them to raise awareness among preschool-aged children about the dangers of infectious disease.

Given the popularity of the Australian children's band, "The Wiggles", at the time, they thought it'd be a good idea to create their own version of the phenomenon, "The Wiggles Experience", which would be modeled (a little too closely, it would turn out) after the original Wiggles.

We played a few concerts (and even released one album, "The Big Red Sore") as "The Wiggles Experience" before the lawsuit, but they all wound up the same way: a minute or two of educational singing followed by 20 minutes of free-jazz exploration. Eventually, we lost the gig and the CDC decided to go some other route. Seriously, I don't know what they decided to do, I haven't thought about it in a while.

Anyway, here's one of our mega-hits from that exciting period. drawing the nation's consciousness to one serious intestinal parasite in particular:

http://www.victorlams.com/kvr-vst/0808_DrAX_Oh_No_Giardiasis.mp3

For more information about this dangerous condition, please check out the WebMD page on giardiasis. It is, seriously, no good for you.

Fat Camp Lap Dance!

2007-09-08T06:14:00.000-07:00

I've begun to re-enter the monthly contests at KVRAudio.com. Here is last month's submission. I have to apologize in advance for the inappropriateness of some of these tunes, but hey... maybe you'll get a chuckle out of one (or more) of them.

http://www.victorlams.com/kvr-vst/0708_DrAX_Fat_Camp_Lap_Dance.mp3

Everybody Poops (Phreakbox's Big Poop Remix)

2007-05-14T16:33:00.000-07:00

Here's another new one for you. It's a Phreakbox dance remix of the Sock Monkeys' instant classic "Everybody Poops".

http://www.victorlams.com/audio/Sock_Monkeys_-_Everybody_Poops_Remix.mp3

Listen to the original on the Sock Monkeys' webpage.

Quiet Time

2007-04-01T05:43:00.000-07:00

After a long break, it's time for Song #60, and it's a new one. With the coming of Spring my musical mojo is starting to thaw and I have a couple of new projects I'm working on. One of which is Phreakbox, which will be a more minimalist sonic experience than I've recently attempted. Anyway, enjoy this simple tune.

NOTE: This song is now available on the new "Phreakbox v1.4: The Instrumentals" album, available for download from Amazon MP3, Lala.com, and available soon from iTunes and Rhapsody and on Audio CD.

W3 3 K1NG5

2007-01-06T08:31:00.000-08:00

In honor of the Feast of the Epiphany comes another track from the ill-fated Christmas project. Like most of my interpretations of classic hymns, this one received the complaint that the melody is not brought to the foreground enough. My typical response stands: when I interpret classic hymns, I like to give them a more impressionistic interpretation, as opposed to a literal one. For the intended project, this also may have been a little too... well, just listen for yourself.

http://www.victorlams.com/audio/VLams_-_W3_3_K1NG5.mp3

Let The King of Glory Come (Demo)

2006-12-19T17:22:00.000-08:00

This is another demo I did for the Christmas Project That Never Came To Be. I don't know who wrote this song (I think it's in the Gather hymnal), but I did the arrangement (including some additional lyrics for the bridge section), and in my own humble opinion, it's probably one of the best arrangements I've ever done (especially considering my set-up at the time). Actually, listening over the early mixes for this just now, I actually had a funkier arrangement that I liked a lot better (seriously, some pr. It was probably too funky. Anyway, here's the one I did and recorded some rather Barney-esque vocals for.

http://www.victorlams.com/audio/VLams_-_LTKOGC.mp3

Veni, Veni, Emmanuel (Demo)

2006-12-09T10:55:00.000-08:00

About four years ago I was asked to start work on producing some tracks for a Christmas CD. While the project never really came about (some of my arrangements were a little... ahead of their time), I've recently discovered on a back-up drive some of the tracks I was working on at the time.

Here is one of them. Again, this is a demo recording so it's not complete and my vocals here were only ever intended to be placeholders (even so, they're buried quite deep in the mix). Anyway, here it is for curiousity's sake. Maybe someday I'll go back and record the vocals. Who knows. If there's any interest, I might (only with a real singer, though).

http://www.victorlams.com/audio/VLams_-_Veni_Veni_Demo.mp3

I Love Sandwiches!

2006-11-25T13:22:00.000-08:00

It's been almost three months since I've written any music and they always say that the first tune back isn't, well, it isn't solid gold. It is, however, an entry into the KVRAudio "Eat Me!" contest (about food).

I Love Sandwiches!

Michigan: The Land Shaped Like a Hand

2006-10-02T15:08:00.000-07:00

I'm back! And I bring a new tune. This tune is actually a collaboration with the excellent Rockstar_not who, in addition to coming up with the concept of the piece (an entry into kvraudio.com's September "geography-themed" contest) wrote and sang the lyric. Basically the good parts are his. I contributed some wacked-out, late Friday night vocalizations and the "Motown Mash-Up" rhythm track. Enjoy it or don't. Just never for get we come from a land shaped like a hand.

http://www.victorlams.com/kvr-vst/06_09_DrRASNX_Michigan.mp3

And, yes. We know Q isn't from Michigan.

...and we lost.

2006-09-10T07:30:00.000-07:00

I did this song in August of 2004. It's difficult to say what it's really all about (if you have any guesses, let me know!). As near as I can figure it's an anti-protest, anti-"progress" song. You can also read into it (or out of it?) some of the baby-boomers' reaction to 9/11, which is why I'm posting it today. Regardless, I'm rather fond of how this came out, production-wise.

http://www.victorlams.com/audio/VLams_-_and_we_lost.mp3