Celestine

Fun with some new loops, mercifully short.

http://www.victorlams.com/audio/Victor_Lams_-_Celestine.mp3

God Blessed The States

I'm going to post some odds and ends from this year, things I haven't posted yet. Starting with this one from February's KVR contest. We had to do a cover of a tune written by another KVRian, in this case, S.HUSH, who is a hilarious songwriter. I used an effect on my voice (CloneEnsmble), multitracked 8 times, with some ambient crowd noise, and a marching band beat I did in Battery 3... it's weird, but maybe convincing in its execution. In case you're curious, the original was a Mellencamp-esque rock tune.

http://www.victorlams.com/kvr-vst/0802_DrAX_God_Blessed_The_States.mp3

Spreading The Wealth Around

A little anti-redistributionalist Calypso for you! I play the ukulele on it. Enjoy!

http://www.victorlams.com/audio/Victor_Lams_-_Spreading_The_Wealth_Around.mp3

Compromised

This song was written to award the top pledger for the quarterly Catholic and Enjoying It Tin Cup Rattle pledge drive, Irenaeus. The idea was that I'd write a song about whatever topic he chose. One of the options given was "How about a generic liberal pro-abortion Catholic politician (a la Pelosi, Biden, Sebelius, etc)?".

So with Joe as my inspiration, I cranked out this piece, by far my loudest yet (and the first to feature my actual guitar playing all the way through).

http://www.victorlams.com/audio/Victor_Lams_-_Compromised.mp3

Approximate lyric:

Compromised,
I compromised.
Compromised,
I'm compromised.

I was born with a clear and distinct idea,
Between what was wrong and what was right.
From Augustus and Aquinas and then brought down to me:
The Truth was taught impermutably.

Before I Compromised,
I compromised.
Compromised,
I'm compromised.

I became a lawyer and then a senator,
I took my position very seriously,
Faithfully represented those who'd elected me,
But all that changed in 1973

That's when it soon became apparent,
That the winds of change were blowing,
Privacy became the mandate,
Basic human rights forgoing,

Personhood now redefined
We had a simple choice to make
We chose to change our party line
and I my principles forsake

Protect the innocent the weakest of the weak
Fight for the poor the huddled, disenfranchised
Were words I lived by but now I defied
Turns out it's easy when you've got money on your side.

Actions without responsibility
or consequences gives you a free ride
Why defend the defenseless when it's so
much easier to live with yourself after you've

Compromised,
Like I compromised.
Compromised,
I'm compromised.

One consequence of my decision
Is the matter of my religion
I sound like I'm some kind of nut
When I say "I'm personally opposed, but"

When you've speaking on the stumps
turns out that's good enough for chumps
And for thirty years it was sufficient
To shut up Cardinals and Bishops.

But now things seem to be changing again
Can't get away with what I did then
God forbid I need a defense
When I can no longer claim ignorance

It gets harder to be a politician
When you're at odds with your tradition
And when I'm denied my final prize
At least I'll know it's because I
...
Compromised.

I Want A Pen

Playing around with some new effects today, needed a vocal line, so got our six-year-old son in front of the microphone and said "Come on, then! Sing something!"

http://www.victorlams.com/audio/Xander_Lams_-_I_Want_A_Pen.mp3

He did a fine job!

Comments Closed

Nothing is more depressing than reading an inciteful blog or forum post, having the perfect reply, and then being denied because either the poster has closed comments for that post or because you've previously been banned (for being right, usually).

http://www.victorlams.com/audio/Victor_Lams_-_Comments_Closed.mp3

Might not want to listen to this with the kids around as it contains a phrase which contains a word some may consider objectionable.

Shill

It's new music! Inspired by current events! It's longer than 2 minutes!

http://www.victorlams.com/audio/Victor_Lams_-_Shill.mp3

Shill
(Words and Music by Victor Lams)

You say that you are hopeful because the winds of change are blowing,
And you think is a good thing 'cause you don't like how things are going.
But change taken by itself is both a blessing and a curse,
Sometimes it makes things better, but more often makes them worse.

It's appealing, so seductive, easy to get caught up in it,
But before you do something stupid maybe you should wait a minute.
Take a moment, take a breather, and when you do, think through it:
Change doesn't happen by itself it takes some one to do it.

Someone has to write the speeches,
Then the politician preaches,
To those whom make sure that it reaches,
Seems like common sense it teaches:

"Are we for change? Yes we can!
Just don't ask us about our plan.
It's all to nothing apropos,
Just gotta upset that status quo!"

Now there's no easy way to say this, it appears that you've been smitten,
There are phone calls to be made and many emails to be written,
Your family might not trust us and your friends, they are all haters,
But don't worry because one day we'll be proud to call them traitors.

Now deep inside your mind you might hear a tiny voice,
This is only normal: your conscience is a choice.
But your morals must be sacrificed so we can get elected,
Media prophecies fulfilled, and history corrected.

And if people are unwilling,
To our Audacious Hope fulfilling,
You'll find that some blood needs spilling,
Truth be told we'll make a killing!

Before you know it you've bought the line,
Seems so obvious it must be a sign:
Change we can believe in, still,
Too bad you've just become our...

Shill!
You're our puppet now, you're our,
Shill!
Please shut-up it now, you're our,
Shill!
And we have to pity it, you're our,
Shill!
Just our useful idiot.

Thank you for your help, as we said you've been quite useful,
Now it's our turn to confess that we maybe haven't been quite truthful,
There's no way we could provide all that stuff that you've been promised,
Better luck, live and learn: you can't cheat someone who's honest.

We're the ones we've been waiting for to,
Bring about our new world order,
Looks pretty much the same now though,
Except it's us stealing the show.

Turns out I wasn't the Messiah,
Not Apollo, Zeus, or Gaia,
Only one thing really was true,
We all really needed you to...

Shill! for us
You're our puppet now, you're our,
Shill!
Please shut-up it now, you're our,
Shill!
And we have to pity it, you're our,
Shill!
Just our useful idiot.

Shill!
You're our puppet now, you're our,
Shill!
Please shut-up it now, you're our,
Shill!
And we have to pity it, you're our,
Shill!
Just our useful idiot.

Pop Corn

Dr. Apostrophe X and The Kornhole Krew present:

"Pop Corn"


http://www.victorlams.com/kvr-vst/0808-DrAX-Pop_Co rn.mp3

It's "Moog-hop"!

Used: Nusofting Broken Drum Machine, Battery 3, Sample Moog, Oligarc

Lyric:
Pop! Pop! We're about to pop corn,
Put us in the mircowave until we get warm,
Pop! Pop! We're about to pop corn,
Make some poor kernels wish they'd never been born.

My name's DJ Endosperm and I'm on a bike,
Riding through your stomach 'cuz I don't like to hike,
I'm filled with starch and fiber, too,
And compared to greasy chips I'm very good for you.
But I'm not like my unpopped kin,
I don't come out looking like I went in.
When you're watching TV I'm the perfect snack,
So come on over and grab a hold of my sack.

Pop! Pop! We're about to pop corn,
Put us in the mircowave until we get warm,
Pop! Pop! We're about to pop corn,
Make some poor kernels wish they'd never been born.

I'm the Kernel MC and I refuse to pop,
Popping is for losers and for crooked cops.
People say I just need a little more heat,
Maybe, like your momma needs more stinky feet.
Yeah, I don't make kids smile, I only make them frown.
Try to bite on me and I'll break your crown.
You want some food, eat some chicken coated in penko,
'Cuz I'm Bob Barker and you just lost at Plinko.

Pop! Pop! We're about to pop corn,
Put us in the mircowave until we get warm,
Pop! Pop! We're about to pop corn,
Make some poor kernels wish they'd never been born.

They call me Little Orvie short for RedenbachURR.
You might think I'm dead, but I'm still hURR.
I'm over 100 years old but I'm rockin' the nation,
Kept alive in suspended animation.
ConAgra thaws me out once every few yURRS,
When they need to pitch popcorn to consumURRS.
People try to drown me but I don't show signs of stopping,
Because my gourmet corn is the best for popping.

Pop! Pop! We're about to pop corn,
Put us in the mircowave until we get warm,
Pop! Pop! We're about to pop corn,
Make some poor kernels wish they'd never been born.

New Album Out Today!?

Well, I thought it would take a few more weeks, but apparently three days is all it takes for Amazon MP3 and Lala to post your new album on their websites for listening (LaLa gives you the first listen for free) and purchase. iTunes, Rhapsody, and eMusic, it seems take a bit longer.

So, yeah: phreakbox v1.4: The Instrumentals is out today!!!!

Expect a full page for the album soon, including a link to purchase a physical CD copy of the product (once I approve it). But in the meantime if you want to get your (mostly) mellow electronic jazz downtempo loungecore chiptune worldbeat groove on, head over to the album on Amazon MP3 or Lala and give it a listen (and if you like it, download a track or two or the whole album). It's very chill.



Also, while at Amazon MP3 or Lala (and soon iTunes and Rhapsody) you may notice another single I've recently released, "The Flying House of Loreto".



This is a track I did a little while back which has become very popular on the net (to date this year, it's been downloaded over 16,000 times from my website). If you like, give it a listen and a download too. It may just give you the inspiration you need to do whatever it is you need to do today (heck, I mean, if a house can fly anything is pretty much possible). Jackie did the cover design for the single, incorporating one of her recent fiber art pieces... I've gotten a lot of good feedback on that.

And, as always, if you haven't gotten your daily dose of Robot Love recently, you can download my first CD on iTunes, Rhapsody, Amazon MP3 and a number of other places around the net.

Requiem for an SMS

Here's another from our poking-around-on-my-harddrive file, a requiem for the Sega Master System.

NOTE: This song is now available on the new "Phreakbox v1.4: The Instrumentals" album (as "Game Over"), available for download from Amazon MP3, Lala.com, and available soon from iTunes and Rhapsody and on Audio CD.

2005 Funk Jam

Going through the hard-drive looking for some stuff to clean up for a possible future release, and found this experiment (probably messing around with the Jamstix demo), from July, 2005.

http://www.victorlams.com/audio/Victor_Lams_-_2005_Funk_Jam.mp3

Car Wreck (Hang Up And Drive)

Song #75 on our 100-song odyssey is a collaboration with the eminent 1-2-Many, who is a fixture on the KVRaudio.com website, particularly in their monthly song contests. Collaboration may be pushing it a bit because all I really did on this one was write some words and sing them -- he did all the music writing and production, so it was quite a nice break for me. I think it came out really well.



http://www.victorlams.com/kvr-vst/0805_drx2many_car_wreck.mp3

Barry White vs. The Chipmunks

Since I guess we're on the retro tip, here's another old song; this song is possibly from late 1998 or early 1999? I can't remember. It was done "live" (though multitracked) to my Roland multitrack recorder which could do formant shifting, which explains the vocals. I never really intended this to be Barry White or the Chipmunks, I just needed a name for the project after I'd recorded it.

http://www.victorlams.com/music/victor_lams_-_bwvtc.mp3

Oh, and if someone could please explain to me why "The Flying House of Loreto" has been downloaded 4,000 times already this month (and how I can possibly cash in on this), please let me know. It's been gaining in popularity over the last few months and I have no idea why.

Fake Cop!

Here's an oldie, from 2001 (right after the "Robot Love" era). It's about all those people who pretend to be cops... that's right, they are "Fake Cops!" A lot of time has gone by between this song and now, so you'd really think my music would sound better today than it did then. You would think.

http://www.victorlams.com/music/Victor_Lams_-_Fake_Cop.mp3

In The Eye

...in which our singer recounts his final moments inside the eye of a tornado (it's a Midwestern United States thing, you wouldn't understand). Lyric here.

http://www.victorlams.com/audio/VLams_-_In_The_Eye.mp3

In The Eye (Instrumental Version)

I'll be posting the version of this new tune with vocals in a day or two. In the meantime, enjoy it in all its pristine, unbesmirched, Moog-tastic goodness.

http://www.victorlams.com/audio/VLams_-_In_The_Eye_Instrumental.mp3

M.A.R.V.I.N.

Song #70 on our 100-song journey is from early, 2003, when I found myself laid-off. It's named in honor of Michigan's Automated Response Voice Interactive Network, aka. M.A.R.V.I.N., who cheerfully greeted me every other Friday to confirm I'd been looking for work. As for the piece itself, it's kind of a jazzy-funky instrumental tune done with an old music program that came bundled free with Computer Music magazine. Listening to this one again after so many years, for all of its low-fi grunginess, it's really one of my favorites. It reminds me of a time when (like it or not) I had a lot of time and attention to give a piece.

NOTE: This song is now available on the new "Phreakbox v1.4: The Instrumentals" album, available for download from Amazon MP3, Lala.com, and available soon from iTunes and Rhapsody and on Audio CD.

The Canadian Human Rights Commission

UPDATE (02/19): I've tweaked the mix a little to make the vocals stand out a little more (maybe too much -- yes, I've heard of EQ, but there's no time to fix that now).

If you want to know what this song is about, just google "Canadian Human Rights Commission". They're both wacky and evil. Free Mark Steyn!

By request, here is the (approximate) lyric (I always change the words a bit when I sing them to make them flow better and the "Der Kommissar" parts were improvised on the spot):

------------
The Commission:

We're the Canadian Human Rights Commission
Welcome to our coalition
Of Ministers and Politicians
Here to make it right.

We're the Canadian Human Rights Commission
Your enemies submitted their petition
In opposition to your position
And we're sensitive to their plight.

We're the Canadian Human Rights Commission
Please offer your deposition
Then we'll give you our rendition
And a chance for you to be contrite

We're the Canadian Human Rights Commission
You've been found guilty by our intuition
We'd like to offer you extradition
Go quietly and without a fight

Der Kommissar:

We apologize for putting you in this position.
But you must understand, we have no choice, we are the Canadian Human Rights Commission.

The Commission:

We're the Canadian Human Rights Commission
Welcome to our coalition
Of Ministers and Politicians
Here to make it right

We're the Canadian Human Rights Commission
Welcome to our inquisition
Quelling all our opposition
But never ever being impolite.

Der Kommissar:

We're afraid of jihadists and the homosexuals,
But we're not afraid of you and your Papal bulls.
You can believe what you want to, you can believe what you will,
But if you speak your mind, we'll move right in for the kill.
------------

(And I think that's just about every rhyme there is for "commission" though I'm sure you can probably think of others).

http://www.victorlams.com/audio/VLams_-_Canadian_Human_Rights_Commission.mp3

Huh?

One of the rare pleasures of working on music so randomly over the years is that once in a while, while searching for something else, you happen across a file in your working directory entitled "Huh.wav" and when you pull it up to give it a listen, you have absolutely no recollection of ever working on it. It's even better when that tune is kind of neat.

As near as I can tell, listening to this, is that I was trying out some new gate effect, on whatever Saturday afternoon I did this. Also, I'm not really sure how the "Good Eats" theme made it in there at the end.

http://www.victorlams.com/audio/VLams_-_Huh.mp3

I Shot The Freak

Yeah, I shot the freak.

http://www.victorlams.com/audio/VLams_-_I_Shot_The_Freak.mp3

Kennedy Vs. The Final Boss

http://www.victorlams.com/audio/VLams_-_Kennedy_vs_The_Final_Boss.mp3

Always Ever Only Just

Always Ever Only Just
December 28, 2007

Always Ever Only Just the things we say
Seem to make it better each and every day
Wouldn't it be great if things worked out that way
Always Ever Only Just the things we say

Always Ever Only Just we must obey
Trying to find some reason to get up today
Close my eyes and try to make it all go away
Always Ever Only Just is why we pray

Always Ever Only Just fights with dismay
You find your life in tatters and in disarray
When you keep depression and dispair at bay
Always Ever Only Just winds up okay

Always Ever Only Just leads us astray
Sing our hearts out loud our feelings on display
Characters inside we do our best to portray
'Always Ever Only Just' we call the play.

Always Ever Only Just a Chevrolet
Taken to the clinic for a chest x-ray.
The doctor says he can't entirely rule out foul play
Always Ever Only Just the same cliche

Can't pull away,
Can't throw away,
Can't Wipe away,
Can't laugh away.
Can't turn away,
Can't sneak away,
Can't run away,
Because there's hell to pay.

Always Ever Only Just the things we say
Always Ever Only Just we must obey
Always Ever Only Just leads us astray
Always Ever Only Just winds up okay

http://www.victorlams.com/audio/Victor_Lams_-_Always_Ever_Only_Just.mp3

The Weary Blues (Langston Hughes)

Here's an experiment in found audio (the recitation is from Archive.org, and the ambient cafe sounds are from Freesound.org). Computer Music magazine's resident monthly musical gestalt writer, Rachmiel, had this to say about this piece:

"it's hard to know what to do with this. the (profoundly un-negro) accent suggests satire/irony ... as does the cocktail accompaniment. but the text is for real and langston hughes is not normally a prime target for smartassery ... truly odd. :-)"

I think that best sums it up. Maybe it's a statement on globalization, maybe it's not.

Victor_Lams_-_Langston_Hughes_The_Weary_Blues.mp3

Oh, No! Giardiasis!

A few years back, the Center for Disease Control approached my free-jazz quintet, "No Boundaries", about doing a little project for them to raise awareness among preschool-aged children about the dangers of infectious disease.

Given the popularity of the Australian children's band, "The Wiggles", at the time, they thought it'd be a good idea to create their own version of the phenomenon, "The Wiggles Experience", which would be modeled (a little too closely, it would turn out) after the original Wiggles.

We played a few concerts (and even released one album, "The Big Red Sore") as "The Wiggles Experience" before the lawsuit, but they all wound up the same way: a minute or two of educational singing followed by 20 minutes of free-jazz exploration. Eventually, we lost the gig and the CDC decided to go some other route. Seriously, I don't know what they decided to do, I haven't thought about it in a while.

Anyway, here's one of our mega-hits from that exciting period. drawing the nation's consciousness to one serious intestinal parasite in particular:

http://www.victorlams.com/kvr-vst/0808_DrAX_Oh_No_Giardiasis.mp3

For more information about this dangerous condition, please check out the WebMD page on giardiasis. It is, seriously, no good for you.

Fat Camp Lap Dance!

I've begun to re-enter the monthly contests at KVRAudio.com. Here is last month's submission. I have to apologize in advance for the inappropriateness of some of these tunes, but hey... maybe you'll get a chuckle out of one (or more) of them.

http://www.victorlams.com/kvr-vst/0708_DrAX_Fat_Camp_Lap_Dance.mp3

Everybody Poops (Phreakbox's Big Poop Remix)

Here's another new one for you. It's a Phreakbox dance remix of the Sock Monkeys' instant classic "Everybody Poops".

http://www.victorlams.com/audio/Sock_Monkeys_-_Everybody_Poops_Remix.mp3

Listen to the original on the Sock Monkeys' webpage.

Quiet Time

After a long break, it's time for Song #60, and it's a new one. With the coming of Spring my musical mojo is starting to thaw and I have a couple of new projects I'm working on. One of which is Phreakbox, which will be a more minimalist sonic experience than I've recently attempted. Anyway, enjoy this simple tune.

NOTE: This song is now available on the new "Phreakbox v1.4: The Instrumentals" album, available for download from Amazon MP3, Lala.com, and available soon from iTunes and Rhapsody and on Audio CD.

W3 3 K1NG5

In honor of the Feast of the Epiphany comes another track from the ill-fated Christmas project. Like most of my interpretations of classic hymns, this one received the complaint that the melody is not brought to the foreground enough. My typical response stands: when I interpret classic hymns, I like to give them a more impressionistic interpretation, as opposed to a literal one. For the intended project, this also may have been a little too... well, just listen for yourself.

http://www.victorlams.com/audio/VLams_-_W3_3_K1NG5.mp3

Let The King of Glory Come (Demo)

This is another demo I did for the Christmas Project That Never Came To Be. I don't know who wrote this song (I think it's in the Gather hymnal), but I did the arrangement (including some additional lyrics for the bridge section), and in my own humble opinion, it's probably one of the best arrangements I've ever done (especially considering my set-up at the time). Actually, listening over the early mixes for this just now, I actually had a funkier arrangement that I liked a lot better (seriously, some pr. It was probably too funky. Anyway, here's the one I did and recorded some rather Barney-esque vocals for.

http://www.victorlams.com/audio/VLams_-_LTKOGC.mp3

Veni, Veni, Emmanuel (Demo)

About four years ago I was asked to start work on producing some tracks for a Christmas CD. While the project never really came about (some of my arrangements were a little... ahead of their time), I've recently discovered on a back-up drive some of the tracks I was working on at the time.

Here is one of them. Again, this is a demo recording so it's not complete and my vocals here were only ever intended to be placeholders (even so, they're buried quite deep in the mix). Anyway, here it is for curiousity's sake. Maybe someday I'll go back and record the vocals. Who knows. If there's any interest, I might (only with a real singer, though).

http://www.victorlams.com/audio/VLams_-_Veni_Veni_Demo.mp3

I Love Sandwiches!

It's been almost three months since I've written any music and they always say that the first tune back isn't, well, it isn't solid gold. It is, however, an entry into the KVRAudio "Eat Me!" contest (about food).

I Love Sandwiches!

Michigan: The Land Shaped Like a Hand

I'm back! And I bring a new tune. This tune is actually a collaboration with the excellent Rockstar_not who, in addition to coming up with the concept of the piece (an entry into kvraudio.com's September "geography-themed" contest) wrote and sang the lyric. Basically the good parts are his. I contributed some wacked-out, late Friday night vocalizations and the "Motown Mash-Up" rhythm track. Enjoy it or don't. Just never for get we come from a land shaped like a hand.

http://www.victorlams.com/kvr-vst/06_09_DrRASNX_Michigan.mp3

And, yes. We know Q isn't from Michigan.

...and we lost.

I did this song in August of 2004. It's difficult to say what it's really all about (if you have any guesses, let me know!). As near as I can figure it's an anti-protest, anti-"progress" song. You can also read into it (or out of it?) some of the baby-boomers' reaction to 9/11, which is why I'm posting it today. Regardless, I'm rather fond of how this came out, production-wise.

http://www.victorlams.com/audio/VLams_-_and_we_lost.mp3

How To Tie Your Shoes

This song, written for the August, 2006, kvraudio.com contest, is a statement on our culture's obsession with teaching everything didactically, as a set of instructions, instead of teaching by showing or doing (which is how all of us learned to tie our shoes). It attempts to show the frustration on the part of the instructor when the pupil can't follow the confusing instructions (though they are technically accurate) and the defiant resignation of the student (mad props to 'Xander for the collab!), in both asserting and conceding that he'll never tie his shoes, provided with that method of instruction.

Oh, yeah; it's pretty funny, too. Oh, and I was able to exorcise some of my childhood's own personal demons with this one. All in all, not bad for a day's work.

http://www.victorlams.com/audio/VLams_-_How_To_Tie_Your_Shoes.mp3

Hail Holy Queen

Greetings! We're back with another song for you, this one in honor of and to get you in the mood for tomorrow's Feast of the Assumption of Mary.

I did this track back in November of 2003 and at the time some folks felt that the melody of the hymn was not represented enough to justify the title. Maybe they're right. Or maybe, just maybe, the piece is meant to be evocative of the hymn in some other way than as a strict representation of it. Who knows.

NOTE: This song is now available on the new "Phreakbox v1.4: The Instrumentals" album (as "H.H.Q.", available for download from Amazon MP3, Lala.com, and available soon from iTunes and Rhapsody and on Audio CD.

It's 2 Damn Muggy (In Here)

Well, that was a fine break. We hope you enjoyed it as much as we did. Now we are back and in honor of the truly unbearable weather outside Whimsey HQ, we have this buried gem from Summer, 1997, when we found ourselves chained-up in an apartment with no air conditioning for three weeks over the hottest period of the summer with only a copy of Jamiroquai's "Travelling Without Moving" CD to keep us company. Somehow, we pulled through and we suspect you will, too.

http://www.victorlams.com/audio/VLams_-_Its_2_Damn_Muggy.mp3

(My Brain's) Inside the Computer

It's song number 50!

This song I did a couple of weeks ago for the July, 2006, KVRAudio contest. The subject of the contest is "Genre Hybrid" and this song attempts to blend West African Highlife (okay, with some South African elements) with Synthpop. It's gotten some pretty good comments from the other participants, many of whom believe it sounds like David Byrne as envisioned by "Weird" Al Yankovic. Others have picked up on the apparent thematic resonance of the paranoia-infused lyric with many They Might Be Giants lyrics. I guess I'll take both of those as compliments.

This song also marks the half-way point of our musical journey through the Cacophonous World of Professor Whimsey. As summer is in full swing, I think we might take a break of a week or so and resume with more or less regular song postings throughout the rest of the summer as we travel ever onwards to our final goal of 100 songs.

http://www.victorlams.com/audio/VLams_-_My_Brains_Inside_The_Computer.mp3

Midnight

Here's an evocative little tune I put together - judging from the file details - in September, 2003. Not much to say about this one, except that it's now track #49 in our one-hundred song journey.

NOTE: This song is now available on the new "Phreakbox v1.4: The Instrumentals" album, available for download from Amazon MP3, Lala.com, and available soon from iTunes and Rhapsody and on Audio CD.

Ionospheric Express

I recently uncovered a hidden trove of audio I did in Spring, 2003. Many of the tracks are unfinished (some tunes I look forward to getting back to someday -- provided I can track down where all the little audio bits wound up when our PC died that summer), but a few I actually managed to complete at the time. This is one of those tracks.

I said of this track, upon its completion back in April, 2003: "A nice groove to chill-out to. Physically modelled hammered-instruments and ethnic percussion are supported by a simple bass groove and ethereal melodies. Techie notes: this song was sequenced in Computer Music's free ComputerMuzys program and only free VSTi were used (dmiHammer, MS-404, and CM-101)."

Anyway, I like listening to this song because it helps keep alive the hope that space travel may one day become a reality.

NOTE: This song is now available on the new "Phreakbox v1.4: The Instrumentals" album, available for download from Amazon MP3, Lala.com, and available soon from iTunes and Rhapsody and on Audio CD.

Rain Dogs for Supper

Our second "Buried Folderol Week" concludes with a short tune from (I'm guessing) 1997. This is the result of another one of those situations where I was up too late during my college years and had half an idea for a song and so fired up the four-track and put some stuff down. In this case the results were not particularly... good. But maybe you'll find something endearing about this track, who knows.

http://www.victorlams.com/audio/VLams_-_Rain_Dogs_For_Supper.mp3

Straight Shots

I guess it's time for another Buried Folderol Week here on the old Cacophonous World (you in the back! stop groaning!). This distinctive piece of buried folderol comes to us directly from Autumn, 1996. My setup at the time was the Roland JV-1000 synth, an old Roland phrase sampler (which I sold on Harmony Central the next year), an Alesis SR-16 drum machine, an SM-58 microphone, my trusty Yamaha four-track cassette recorder, and a fictional character: the quintessential Lounge Lizard, Mr. Straight Shots (nee Straight Shotz). Anyway, this was all done "live" to four-track, including the various vocal layerings and sound effects. And yes, I guess I had been listening to George Duke's "Reach For It" before I wrote this one.

This particular mix I did earlier this year, hooking up the four-track to my PC. Unforunately, the pan pots got a little dirty all those years in storage and no amount of compressed air could prevent some crackling as I tried to duplicate the wild panning effects during playback. I ultimately scaled back on the panning and this is what we're left with.

File this one under "juvenilia".

http://www.victorlams.com/audio/VLams_-_Straight_Shots.mp3

My Weblog (Demo)

My weblog recently celebrated it's fifth anniversary (though it's kind of weak now). Around the time I started the weblog (2001), I wrote this tune in a kind of Lionel Richie/Commodores groove. The whole "I want a boy..." section was taken from some random girl's weblog. My co-worker at the time had found it and she and I both agreed it was just about the saddest thing we'd ever read, so it fit the whole pathos of the tune. I never really got around to finishing this tune up, but the lack of polish maybe fits the subject matter.

http://www.victorlams.com/audio/VLams_-_My_Weblog-Demo.mp3

Spiritual Combat!

Let's take a trip back to the early 1990s when everyone was techno-ing up a storm. I did this track a couple of weeks back for a KVRAudio contest and when I played it for the host of The Catholic Cast podcast, he said he'd like to use it there as well. Consider this a sneak peek for when that podcast does eventually return.

For those who are curious, that's Fr. John Corapi on vocals. If you think it's cool, you should buy his tapes and DVDs.

http://www.victorlams.com/audio/VLams_-_Spiritual_Combat.mp3

Cold Duck Time (Interior Monologue)

I know "Weird Jazz Week" was last week, but I just remembered this song and wanted to slip it in. I did it in September, 2004, for a kvraudio.com contest where the theme was to create a song using only one instrument. While this is what I technically did, perhaps this wasn't directly in the spirit of the competition.

Regardless, here it is along with sincere apologies to the dearly departed soul of Eddie Harris.

http://www.victorlams.com/audio/VLams_-_Cold_Duck_Time.mp3

Coloring Monsters

It's song 42! Time for something extra special: the first song to feature our son who provided not only the ferocious roar but (obviously) the theme and subject matter of this song (by virtue of engaging in the aforementioned activity but also in needing to reminded that monsters are not always to be feared -- though I guess it doesn't help that I taught him about grues to keep him in bed). It may be lame to admit that there are some of your own songs that you really like, that you're really proud of how they came out, but this is definitely one of those.

http://www.victorlams.com/audio/VLams_-_Coloring_Monsters.mp3

Meanderin' Orange

I did this tune in early 2003 when I got my first "ROMpler" (a virtual instrument which plays instruments which have been sampled but to which you can't add your own content), Sonik Synth (one). Anyway, I wanted to see how faithfully I could emulate a Jazz quartet (and string section). Unfortunately, to some ears I strove to such a degree for authenticity in the trumpet part -- simulating some detuning due to an uneven flow of air through the instrument -- that at some point it goes a little way flat and the trumpeter sounds less like Miles Davis and more like the mortally wounded bugler in Sonny Giannotta's 1962 comedy recording "Last Blast of The Blasted Bugler" (my parents had a record of that and played it for me when I was a kid; if you're familiar with the recording you'll realize that explains an awful lot. If you have a digital copy of that recording, long out of print, please email me).

Otherwise I think this is pretty slick. Also, you may have noticed by now that I tend to give my instrumentals names with bad puns in them. This is not by any form of intent. Regardless, "Weird Jazz Week" is now concluded.

http://www.victorlams.com/audio/VLams_-_Meanderin_Orange.mp3

(Life Is) Salty

Time to let the Professor pick the theme.

I, Professor Whimsey, henceforth and without further skiddoo decree this week to be "Weird Jazz Week" here in the Cacophonous World.

Here is a track from Victor's "Robot Love" CD, written and recorded in the summer of 2000. Much has been said about this track, that Victor wrote the first two lines in Salzburg, Austria, and then the rest three years later in Michigan; that the psychotic spoken word part in the bridge was not written by Victor at all, but was spoken aloud by one of his former co-workers and friends and transcribed by another former co-worker and friend. Much has been written, it's true, and so it is hard to seperate legend from fact. In that spirit, here is the song.

http://www.victorlams.com/audio/VLams_-_Life_Is_Salty.mp3

Captain Sisko's Badasss Song

Our second "Buried Folderol Week" concludes on the same note it began: that of incredibly rare favorites (of mine, anyway) made with found or sampled audio. This Friday's tune is one of my favorites and it actually came together in an interesting manner. It's no secret that I consider Deep Space Nine to be the best television series of all time, and it was my companion through most of High School, College, and then my first forays into the Real World. I learned a lot from Captain Sisko. Anyway, towards the end of season five, I believe, I was up late at night and the show happened to be on and since it was an awesome episode (the Dominion's all in a snit because Sisko mined the wormhole with cloaked, self-replicating mines) I decided to put a microphone (the ol' Shure SM-58) in front of the television's speaker and record some of whatever Captain Sikso was saying (in this case it's a great exchange with Jeffrey Comb's Weyoun character).

Anyway, once I had the recorded audio from the TV on one track of the four-track cassette recorder, I grabbed a drum part from my Alesis SR-16 drum machine (since it was so late at night, and you may recognize this, I recycled the same drum program from "Too Damn Muggy"). I recorded in a bassline along with the programmed drum part onto track two of the four-track, which left two open tracks for improvised synths, which I recorded directly onto tape and, as they say in France, "Veiled!": a defining moment in my musical history.

http://www.victorlams.com/audio/VLams_-_Captain_Siskos_Badasss_Song.mp3

The Pirate Movie Song

To kick off our second Buried Folderol Week (which features songs which use samples that are, shall we say, hopefully covered under the fair-use umbrella), we've got a real rare treat for you: "The Pirate Movie Song" which I did as a present for my (then) fiance back in 1999 using samples from one of her favorite movies.

Anyway, this song has been rarely heard as this is the first time I've (I mean we've) officially posted it anywhere. Enjoy!

http://www.victorlams.com/audio/VLams_-_The_Pirate_Movie_Song.mp3

Do You Have A Friend?

Another song written and performed by our neice, but this one was done five years ago. Enjoy!

http://www.victorlams.com/audio/KK_-_Do_You_Have_A_Friend.mp3

KK's Song

This song was written and performed by our neice, KK, for her mom this past Mother's Day. All I did on this pretty much is work up a sparse arrangement (consider this a demo; though there is one interesting bit of trivia here: the bridge section contains my first-ever played guitar part) and record KK singing in our spare-bedroom studio. Anyway, my rushed production work not necessarily withstanding, I think this one came out pretty good (and yes, a lot of that is due to the fact that an actual singer/songwriter wrote and sang it).

http://www.victorlams.com/audio/KK_-_KKs_Song.mp3

Kyoto Subway

Does Kyoto have a subway? If it does, does it sound anything like this? I don't know the answer to either question; I've never been to Kyoto and the way things are going I probably never will. Put this song on loop playback and just chill with it for a few minutes.

http://www.victorlams.com/audio/VLams_-_Kyoto_Subway.mp3

The Time For Bed Truck

Every evening here, in Summer, as the days grow longer and there is the need of such a thing, the Time For Bed Truck makes its rounds around the city letting all of the children know that it's time to march off to bed. Tonight I stuck a stereo microphone out the window as it drove by.

http://www.victorlams.com/audio/VLams_-_The_Time_For_Bed_Truck.mp3

Knock Me Up

"Unmitigated Disaster Week" concludes (a day late, naturally) with this deservedly forgotten gem from August, 2004. A former co-worker once told me that in the UK "knock me up" was slang for asking someone to visit you (just like "ring me up" was slang for asking someone to phone you). I have no idea if this is true, but it sounded like a good chance to exercise some house-oriented double entendres.

As I was doing this song for another KVRAudio contest, it had to be under two minutes long (hence the abrubt fade out). Forcing what should be a seven minute funk jam into around 2 minutes more than anything else, I think, is what hurt this song. Maybe I'll do a longer version sometime.

http://www.victorlams.com/audio/VLams_-_Knock_Me_Up.mp3